Love is Unconditional but Marriage is NOT.
WOW! Just heard an amazing concept in a training about “Emotionally Destructive Marriages” from American Association of Christian Counselors. Leslie Vernick has a book on this same topic. I believe Christian women in particular get roped into thinking that they are the ones responsible for unconditional love. They must submit, comply and obey regardless if their man is taking into account his part in the relationship or not.
Unconditional love is agape love and it is God’s plan for all of us. However, this perfect way to love does not give partners a “free pass” to do whatever they want in marriage.
Marriage is about mutual responsibility and each party plays their part in edifying, uplifting and loving each other within healthy boundaries. When things get lopsided under the guise of “submission,” God has a real hard time blessing this kind of union. If one party is getting discounted, blamed, shamed, verbally attacked and treated unkindly, it is time for change and equal responsibility for care-taking. When only one person in the relationship gets their heart taken care of that is called enabling, not agape love.
Emotionally abusive marriages are rampant in the Body of Christ. Is it any wonder the world wants no part of this thing called “marriage?” It is time Christians started being salt and light in all areas of their life. Imbalance and harshness of any kind never attracts anyone to Christ.
Sorry…just felt compelled to rant about this today.