A'nesis Retreats and Counseling Sabbaticals

Come Away to a Quiet Place and Rest Awhile ~ Christian Retreats with Intensive Counseling

Wives World ~ Invalidation = I Must Not Exist

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I’ve talked before how “being known” is God’s creatures biggest heart’s cry.  I think He did this because He wanted us to know that HE knows us, sees us.  This desire was put in our hearts by Him…to be known.

What happens when your family of origin does NOT recognize you?  You start getting the negative heart message that “I am not known.”  This is a mind-set that hurts to the core and penetrates to the depth of our entire being.  This invalidation sets a person up for destructive and dysfunctional ways of operating.

Invalidation of emotion prevents us from learning how to regulate our emotions.  The emotion regulation process becomes stunted.  We stuff emotions, do not process or label them.  Our souls become dead.  We have blind eyes.  Our filters get clogged and we are unable to see God, know that He is actually involved in every ounce of our daily lives.  We don’t see others or connect with them.  Invalidation creates an island of isolation, misery, aloneness.

I am reminded of the blind man that Jesus put mud on.  Blind from birth, can you imagine the impact of Jesus taking the wet dirt and bringing him the most precious gift of all…his sight!  The church leaders questioned this miracle, invalidated it actually to the point of ridicule and “kicking him out.” 

This happens to us also.  Miracles of sight still happen today for many of us.  When others don’t see it, it can be invalidating.  Yet we must stick to our guns and know in our heart just like the blind man, “If this man were not from God, he could do nothing.”  (John 9:33). 

God wants us all to have sight.  He wants us all to know that we DO exist.  That He sees us and knows us.  If you’ve had the experience…don’t let the invalidation of others steal it away from you.  Put on your sunglasses and embrace the moments spent “being known” by the God who loves you!

Author: Anesis Retreats and Counseling Sabbaticals

Trudy Johnson is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in the state of Colorado and Tennessee. Her passion is to help women recover from past abuse and trauma with the goal of living productive, transformed lives. Trudy is a Master's Level Trauma Specialist with several trauma resolution trainings at her disposal. She has a Master's Degree in Biblical Counseling and adheres to a Biblical belief system and theologies.

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