She sat in the prayer room as we counseled. The tears wouldn’t stop. There were times of sobbing. Then times of gaining her composure in order to talk a little more. What do you do when the plan you had for your marriage doesn’t fit into the storybook one you envisioned? Realizing now that the man she married wasn’t really the Christian leader adhering strictly to keeping the vows of marriage, she was devastated. You see, when they met he said he was a believer. He even went to church with her and seemed interested in the same set of beliefs as herself.
In reality, four years later, after a long and hard struggle to understand the thinking of this man she’d married, he ended it abruptly on a Sunday afternoon. He walked into the living room and announced that this marriage had been a “disappointing one” and that in spite of the two year old little boy playing in the background, he had decided to move out and “put this all behind him because it had been a disappointing experience.”
And now she sits in my room feeling a bit disappointed herself. Beating herself up a lot for not seeing the red flags, the signs before she married. It is easy to say you are a “Christian” these days. But it is also easy to bow out when you realize “this” commitment thing when times get tough isn’t what you signed up for.
Somewhere in the Body of Christ we’ve missed helping our children understand the dire need to be as equally yoked as possible in our marriages. During the dating process, the concept of “yoking” sounds foolish and archaic, but when the rubber meets the road, there is nothing more important than when two become one flesh that there is a clear understanding of what the marriage covenant means for us as believers. Unequal yokes bring with it a world of heartache…and tears.